Peter How I pulled a boyfriend out of the trash!
Right out of the garbage…
Two years ago I was reading The Huffington Post when I saw Susan’s pictures all over the first page. I knew Susan was successful but I didn’t realize how big she was.
She told me weeks before that she would never put her picture on an online dating website! She held a high-profile job in DC. She was a well-known public figure. She was a public figure!
What did I tell her?
This is exactly what I told you: “Get over yourself!”
I told her, “Susan you are paying me a great deal of money to show you how to fall in love. You told me that falling in love was your number one priority. “Why on EARTH would you not use the most effective dating tools around?”
She said…
“First, I won’t be meeting any high-caliber men online. These sites don’t have the men I am looking for! I wouldn’t want to be seen on such a website by my colleagues – it would make me feel embarrassed.
I’ve heard enough. I said to Susan…
” The best place to meet men is at happy hours and nightclubs (especially if you are over 50, as she was). Want to go out to nightclubs or happy hours? Want to meet men working on Capitol Hill? Where can you meet men of your age? You need to get online if you are serious about finding love.
If your colleagues see you in Match, they will think Wow! She looks amazing!
If they look at your profile, it’s likely that they are also dating online! “They already know that you are single so what’s all the fuss?”
I told her that I have taught therapists and teachers as well as doctors and CEOs to find love online.
Then…
I sort of INSISTED.
She reluctantly agreed, so I began taking her pictures and writing her essay. I wanted her to experience the fun of online dating!
Her profile was posted two weeks later, ironically on the same day that she appeared on the Huffington Post cover. Of course, it was sensational. She received more than 200 emails over the course of a weekend!
BAM!
When I logged in to her Match.com email on our second coaching call, it was emptiness!
What happened to all those emails, I asked myself?
Susan said: “I deleted all the junk in my inbox. There wasn’t anything I was excited about”.
WHAT?!!!! What I thought was Thank God she hadn’t emptied the trash bin.
Susan needed to be educated (and given a good talk).
“Susan… the men who reached out to you via email are NOT JUNK, they are HUMAN BEINGS. They took the time to contact you because they thought that you were wonderful. You can’t tell by looking at a profile how great a man really is. We’ll start again and find the positive traits in each of these men. We’re going give it a shot.
I sent most of her emails back to her inbox, and then I selected five men I thought would be a good match (I am a matchmaker after all). We responded to the five emails together.
Two months on…
Find out who Susan loved. Guess which of the five guys Susan was in love with.
A few months later they started talking about getting married!
It wasn’t the only time I pulled a husband (or boyfriend) from the trash. A small change in perspective can sometimes make a big difference.
You might want to take a closer look at the people you discard if you are frustrated by online dating.
Why not try online dating? Love is worth the time, courage and consistency it takes.
