Peter How to not be boring
What’s the best way to make yourself more interesting and not boring?
In the past 9 years, I have shared everything I know about social interaction. This is my guide to how not to be boring.
I will be discussing how to avoid being boring with new people, as well as long-term relationships with friends and partners.
Let’s get started!
1. What if I’m boring? How to find out if there are ways you can make yourself more interesting
- It’s hard to get beyond the small talk or to find something to say.
- You are worried that your words will be uninteresting or irrelevant.
- You want to be more interesting and entertaining , without becoming someone else.
- You might lose the audience’s interest if you tell a story that is too long, or if you forget or go off course and repeat yourself.
This guide is for those who can relate to a few of the bullets. Here are some tips on how to avoid being boring.
2. Boring people either talk too much or too little about themselves. Balance between interesting people.
You must know that it’s boring when people only talk about themselves. When I was younger I only asked questions about other people and spent time in their mental world.
It was a mistake.
People who are socially aware know how to avoid being boring. They care about the work of others AND they care about their own work.
What am I trying to say?
I saw someone teaching the other day. I was curious to know what it would be like. She said:
“I’ll be honest, the job is tiring and it pays poorly.
What do you think? When you can really see in the children’s eyes that they understand something, I love it. Wow, I’m forming a whole new generation. It’s very rewarding.
You told me about your website. It must have the same feeling to be able to help others ?”
3. How to overcome small talk
First impressions are important. We should talk about the superficial things when we first meet someone.
If we are stuck and can’t make it more personal, the people will tire.
Turning the conversation personal is a way that socially aware people can get beyond small talk.
Imagine that you are making small talk about the rise in rent.
Rent increases are boring. You can talk about them until you’re bored and the topic is forgotten.
Socially adept people make the conversation personal. They ask a question that is personal to the topic.
“Where do you want to live, if you had the choice of anywhere?”
You could also talk about your work. You could ask a personal question about the topic.
What did you want be as a child?
When you are making small talk, look for an opportunity to ask about the topic.
4. Dare to be different instead of the norm
In their late teens or early twenties, most people begin to feel boring.
It’s not a coincidence
This is when we are most likely to feel pressured into fitting in. We try to be standard, instead of being original.
“How did you find your work?”
NORMAL, LOW-RISK:
PERSONAL RISK IS HIGHER: “Good!” Now I’m trying to solve a coding issue where we try to detect fraud. It’s so complex that I wonder if it would have been better to become an author, as my original plan had been. But other than that, it is a good !”
The second response is more interesting, because it dares be personal.
I began to see social interaction as an opportunity to improve my social skills, rather than trying to make everything perfect. This helped me to be more daring, and made me an MUCH more interesting individual!
Dare to be different instead of boring.
5. You may have low self-esteem if you ask yourself often “why am i so boring?”
We can feel bored when we think that others won’t be interested in our lives or thoughts.
This can also be a sign that a person has a low sense of self-worth. (A more confident individual may assume others are interested).
We may also feel vulnerable when we are asked to share our worldview.
You should start by consciously letting people in more.
You DO NOT need to divulge your deepest secrets. I’m talking SMALL reveals.
“I don’t like mornings, so I take an hour to wake up in the mornings.”
“I am trying to stop adding sugar to my coffee, but I always cheat on the weekends and it makes me happy”
You are not inherently boring.
Anyone can have an interesting life story. Any little detail can be described in a way that is interesting. All it takes is if you can communicate your thoughts and life to others.
Dare to share small details in social situations. They will find it interesting and fun to hear small pieces of your life.
6. It’s not necessary to have an “interesting” life in order to be bored
In my youth, I believed that to be interesting I needed to travel the globe and have amazing stories. It’s not the way to become interesting.
Imagine the old relative who tells you about his war experiences at the Christmas gathering. After an hour or so, it’s boring.
Everyone thinks my friend is so interesting, even though he doesn’t live a very interesting life. Why?
- He knows to find common interests when talking about
- He then talks to the person about their interests and shares his opinion on them.
- He balances by asking questions that are sincere about them
- He shares his experience if he thinks the other person will find it interesting.
Interesting people are often able to see things from a different perspective, and can share that with the world.
7. Talk about your feelings and thoughts instead of facts and opinions.
Factual information and opinion can be fascinating, but only up to a point. Why? You can find these things on the internet or in books.
This is an example of a factual and opinionated way to talk about your work:
My boss asked me to read 20 pages before and after lunch. This is ridiculous. The company makes 20 million dollars in revenue and 3 million dollars profit on 20 employees. I think that they could easily hire 4 more people within this budget .”
Zzz…
Here’s a good example of how to talk about your work by expressing your thoughts and feelings.
“My boss expects me to double my work even though he can easily hire more staff. If I were to analyze him, I would say that he is a good person who has become hardened by the job and doesn’t recognize humanity anymore. Do you believe that money corrupts you or can you balance ?”?
