How to Ace Meeting the Parents

Introduction

Hello fammm. Heart of Dating Podcast is back with another episode. We’re taking a little detour from our series on being single over the holidays to talk about the parents! It can be a daunting task. Today’s episode will cover when and how to meet with them, as well as approval, preparation, and more. Let’s get started!

When to meet the parents

You should not meet the parents of your partner until you have a serious relationship. You should wait until after you have been dating for 60-90days. You don’t introduce them to your parents until after you are engaged or just a few days before.

Is there an exception to meeting earlier? They can meet them if ONE of your family members is on the board of advisors. But, remember that your WHOLE family probably isn’t your board of advisors and safe place. It is best to introduce them to only a few people until you know where you stand with them.

How to prepare for meeting the parents

You as the partner who introduces them to your family are responsible for preparing them. Ask questions if the person introducing you doesn’t inform you. It should be a few top-line things. Maybe it’s something about a parent or if there is a certain dynamic that you should be aware of. It is important to do this if the person or dynamic is unhealthy. If you can identify these things, it will reveal a lot about your personality.

What are some good questions?

• What should I know before meeting your family?
• What should I not ask about or discuss?
• What should I ask about or bring up?
• Do you have any expectations or rules in your family? What about football, the phone on the table?

What if you have a family member who doesn’t agree?

First, determine if this person is SAFE and TRUSTED in your life. Are they a source of active, wise advice in your life. Do they have a place on your board of life advisors? Many people put their parents and siblings, as well as aunts, Uncles, and cousins in this category, when they are not safe, emotionally mature, or wise. It’s usually due to one scripture in Exodus. The fifth commandment is honor your parents and mother. In this scripture, the word “honor”, doesn’t actually mean “obey”, it means “to give importance to.” This means you should consider their opinions because it honors God.

Bonus Tips

Outfits! Wear it only if you are sure. Ask them what they would wear to their parents’ house.

Help and serve! You’ll be too busy trying to be Mother Teresa and volunteer for every chore. But, remember to be aware of what is happening. Volunteer to help with dishes, or on duty. Take out the garbage.

Ideas for gifts Here’s nothing too outrageous. Perhaps flowers, wine, or a candle. You should know the family’s alcohol consumption.

Phones. Phones.

Be as flexible and as adaptable as you can.

When something is raised, be as non-offensive as possible. Never be the one who escalates.

Learn to be curious about other people. Try to learn and absorb as much as you can, and try to find out something about everyone.

Lastly, relax! You don’t have anything to prove. Do you consider how you come across when you are with family or friends? No. You and your partner should try to mimic as much as you can what it’s like to be around family.

You can always recover from a bad meeting.