Peter Avoid These Common Mistakes When Communicating Online
Many people fear scaring away people because they appear too needy. You need to find a good balance between wanting to know someone better, and not coming across as clingy. Here are some mistakes you should avoid when communicating with people online.
1. Speaking to one person only
Keep in touch with multiple potential friends at the same time. You won’t be too affected by the results of any one meeting or conversation because you’ll always have someone else to chat with.
This approach also ensures that you do not invest more energy or feelings than the person. This method puts both of you on an equal footing so that you don’t feel under pressure.
2. Investing in the relationship more than the other person
Mutual interest and effort are the foundation of good friendships. You want to create friendships where you both benefit. You may be in a uni-sided friendship if you put in a lot and get little in return. This type of friendship doesn’t usually last very long.
Be on the lookout for these signs to see if your online friendship is one-sided.
- Most conversations begin with you.
- Your message is almost always longer than the one of your friend.
- Your friends are not making any efforts to meet you up, despite your repeated attempts.
- You have revealed a lot about yourself compared to what they’ve said.
- They often take a while to reply, whereas you always respond immediately.
You should focus your attention on people who are genuinely interested in talking to you if you feel that you have a greater investment in the friendship than the other person.
3. Expecting (or demanding) instant replies
Many people are too busy working or studying to respond within a few hours. It can sometimes take several days for a response. It’s normal to wait a few days for a reply, especially when you are forming a new friendship. It does not mean the other person dislikes you.
You’ll have a problem if you complain or whine about their slow response. This signals to the person that you are needy and very demanding.
Take a break if you are worried that someone hasn’t replied. Instead, focus on the other people in your life (both online or offline). You will not have the time to make new friends if you’re too worried about someone’s response.
4. Too eager to meet up
It’s perfectly normal to ask people if they want to meet quickly when you are trying to make online friends. Never be afraid to reach out. If you receive a “no”, “maybe”, or “maybe”, take a break and put off the meeting for a little while.
Sometimes it is better to take a step back and let the situation develop naturally. Allow your friend to develop a greater desire to meet with you. Allow them to show initiative (even if this takes some time).
If you get impatient, ask someone else instead. So, if your friend doesn’t wish to meet you right away, they won’t be pressured. Never make someone feel compelled to meet up with you. They’ll associate you with the feeling of desperation and neediness.
Some people prefer to talk on video chat before meeting up in person. You can suggest video chats if you’re speaking to someone who is shy or unsure if they would be interested in meeting.
You could say something like, “Hey! I’d love a chat about [your common interest]. You could say, “Hey, I’d love to chat more about [your shared interest].”
5. Unloading your life story too quickly
It’s important to establish a strong connection. Opening up must be reciprocal. You will feel closer to your friend if you are the only person who shares.
You should also be able to open up about yourself and the other person at a similar pace.
Tip A common mistake is to not open up. If this is you, Here’s an excellent guide to help you learn how to be more open to others.
6. Too much talk about yourself
Make them feel valued and heard. Do not over-talk about yourself. Follow the 50/50 rule. Talk as much as you listen to make your friend feel heard and appreciated.
7. Answers that are very long
You don’t always have to be short. But make sure your friend writes the same length of answer.
If you respond with a lengthy essay and your friend replies in a few sentences, then your friend may feel overwhelmed. They may not have time or energy to respond thoughtfully.
Keep your message about the same length as that of the other person. You can build a friendship where both of you feel equal. This way, you won’t be resentful if their responses are short and they won’t feel pressured to write more than they can.
Remember that you can’t win over everyone. Some relationships won’t work out and you will be rejected. All it takes to have a lifelong friend is a strong connection with just one person.
Benefits of Online Friendship
Online friendships do not replace face-to-face interaction. Some aspects of real-life relationships are not available online. If you are talking via text or video, for example, you won’t see your friend’s body language. This could lead to miscommunication. Online friendships are a great way to make new friends and get social support.
Online friendships can be beneficial in many ways.
- Online chats can help you practice social skills that are essential for any type of friendship, including rapport-building, conversation and self disclosure. It might be easier to practice your social skills online before you try to increase your offline social circle.
- When you talk to someone online, it may be easier to discuss sensitive topics. A psychologist, Suzanne Degges White, believes that an online friendship can be a source of comfort because you do not have to meet them face-to-face. You can end a conversation quickly if you feel vulnerable. This is not possible when talking to someone in person.
- According to a review published in the em>European Journal of Social Psychology, /em>interacting with people of other ethnicities can make you less prejudiced and more tolerant of differences. A review in the European Journal of Social Psychology found thatinteracting and learning from people of different ethnicities could make you more tolerant of difference.
- Online friendships may improve your mental health. Online social support can improve your mental health.
The internet is a great way to meet new people, expand your social circle and keep your friendships strictly online. You can also start to hang out in person. You may have to wait a little while before you find compatible friends who share your interests, but the effort is worth it. You may make a lifelong friend.
