Do you have an online dating ad? There’s a cure!

According to eHarmony about 40 million Americans are using online dating services. You have literally millions of options if you are single and looking for a date.

This is a positive thing.

Sometimes it’s not.

When we have too many options, science tells us that humans often choose NOTHING. A Pew Research Study revealed that one third of those who date online do not go out on dates!

A recent study, according to an article published in the New York Times “raised a hypothesis that the presence and variety of choices might be appealing… but in reality people may find the more and more options to be actually debilitating.”

This particular study was on ketchup.

The same is true for dating. It’s called “Online Dating ADD” and it could be keeping you alone.

When we are faced with too many options (accessing thousands of possible matches online), it is easy to make no decision at all.

Why?

We are more judgemental.

We eliminate people too quickly.

We place too much importance on chemistry.

We are overwhelmed and we don’t behave kindly.

We just go through the motions, going from date to date without ever really connecting.

Modern dating is a rut, it’s unsatisfying, and it’s counterintuitive. This needs to change.

How to cure online dating ADD.

Slow down. Hide your profile if your inbox is full. Take your time. Take your time. You don’t have to go out on five dates every week. You don’t need to go on five first dates a week.

Talk on the phone prior to meeting. Wear a cute outfit to a drink or dinner rather than a quick coffee date. Spend TIME with the person you are dating so that both of you can relax and be open. You might be missing out on someone special if you don’t spend time getting to know him.

Concentrate on what is right, not what is wrong. You’re looking for flaws in your potential suitors, and you eliminate them without even realizing it. Instead of focusing on their positive qualities and valuing them, you are unconsciously looking to find faults. Everyone has a gooey middle. Find it and see if you find it.

Consider him a real person and not just a profile. You didn’t meet this guy online. He could be someone’s son or brother, best friend, neighbor, coworker, or uncle. You should be curious to know who he is, what his personality, passions and heart are.

Quit making decisions based on your chemistry. Where has it led you? Look for qualities that can impact your happiness in the future, such as kindness, dependability and strength of character. Also, consider shared values, life goals, and shared values. You should be aware that chemistry is a dynamic thing (and can lead you in the wrong direction again and again). You should care about attraction. I don’t say that. You should first focus on his heart. Spend some time thinking about the kind of partner you are looking for and then put your focus on those qualities.

Give it some time. You should go out again if you enjoyed the date, thought he had some charm and was at least somewhat attractive. Some people are nervous or take time to open up on dates. Spend time getting to know each other, relax and enjoy your date. You may grow to love him. It’s happened so many times before!

Stop believing that the grass is always a greener color. The next best thing is not always the most desirable. You can enjoy the person with whom you are currently spending time and continue to water your grass. It could get very, very green!

Online Dating ADD is not something you have to accept. Slow down and think about the individual strengths. Look for the good in a date and keep an open mind. Don’t let the technology or seemingly endless choices stop you from making a good decision and finding your soulmate.

Keep your eyes on the ball, on the qualities which will affect your future happiness and the qualities truly matter.

Now go find him! Find him now!