How to respond when someone is disrespectful to you

You may feel angry, inferior, or unimportant when you are treated with disrespect. In our professional and personal lives, we all encounter disrespectful people. This article will show you how to respond to rude behavior in social settings.

Sections

1. What constitutes disrespectful behavior?
2. How do you respond to someone who is disrespectful towards you

What is disrespectful behaviour?

If someone treats you with disrespect by their words or actions, it is likely because they do not see you as a person worthy of being treated with respect.

Below are examples of common disrespectful behaviors:

• Insults, name-calling and other forms of abuse
• Comments that are hurtful and unnecessary about your appearance, your abilities, your relationships, your job or any other aspect in your life.
• Condescending remarks can make you feel uncomfortable or denigrated, for example, “You have a wonderful career for someone from such a poor neighborhood.”
• Consistent tardiness
• You are left out of the conversation
• You being excluded from a social gathering
• You are being deliberately ignored
• When someone stares at you, or watches you in an intrusive way or feels intimidated.
• Physical aggression
• You may be pushed to drink alcohol despite having said “no” when your boundaries are ignored.
• Refusing your authority. For example, they may act as if they’re more senior or qualified than you, even though you are their boss.
• Unkind jokes that will make you laugh until your butts hurt
• You are lying to yourself
• You can be snubbed by someone else
• Making Fun of You

According to research, disrespectful behavior has a wide range of effects on your life. Here are some studies showing why it is important to deal with rudeness or disrespect.

• A study published in 2013 by the Journal Of Nursing Administration revealed a connection between disrespectful behavior of colleagues and poor mental well-being. ^[ 1]
• A 2014 review in the Journal of Organizational Behavior found that low-level disrespect at work can lead to stress, depression and fear.[3] People feeling disrespected are at greater risk of conflict at home because they may feel tense or unhappy.

What to do when someone disrespects you

You do not have to accept disrespect. You have no right to be treated badly, ignored or taken advantage of by anyone. This section will teach you how to deal with rude, impolite or passive-aggressive behaviors.

How to handle someone who is disrespectful towards you

1. Don’t jump to conclusions

Some disrespectful remarks and behaviors are clearly rude. If someone insults you for example, it is clear that they are being disrespectful. Some situations are not so obvious. Give people the benefit-of-the doubt; look for other explanations and don’t jump to any conclusions.

We tend to think that a person’s personality is the root cause of their actions rather than their circumstances when we are trying to understand their behavior. The 1990s saw psychologists Gilbert & Malone coin the term “correspondence” to describe the mistake.

This theory suggests that you may be quick to judge someone as disrespectful if they behave rudely, despite the fact that their behavior could have been caused by an external event.

You can ask yourself: “Could this person be acting in a different way?” Could I be overreacting?

If, for example, your neighbor ignores or ignores you in the morning, instead of smiling and nodding as they normally do, they may be snubbing. It’s possible they are just distracted and not paying attention to anyone or anything around them.

2. What do you mean when you say that?

You can avoid an argument by asking “What do they mean?”

Let’s say, for example, that you have been doing a job that is enjoyable, but not well-paid, in a non-profit organization for seven years. During the conversation, a friend says, “You should have been earning more by now.”

You may find this comment offensive because it makes you feel like your friend is insulting you or that you’re not ambitious enough. If you ask your friend, “What are you saying?” they may respond that, “You deserve to be paid more because of all the work you do and especially given your experience.”

3. Do not take rudeness personally

You can deal more easily with rude or disrespectful behavior by strangers and casual acquaintances when you don’t take it personally. You can ask yourself: “Is the person’s behavior an attack on me or am I simply in the wrong place and time?”

If, for example, you are pushed out of the path by a stranger on the subway, or ignored in the breakroom by a colleague who you seldom speak to, it has nothing to do with you or your actions.

Remember that rude behavior is part of everyday life. sociologists Philip Smith and Timothy L. Philips have documented more than 500 instances of rude behavior in their bookIncivility: the Rude Stranger in Everyday Life. They show that rude behavior is not uncommon. ^[ 4]

You can also learn from how someone disrespectful treats others. You can also remind yourself that not only you are affected by someone’s unfriendly behavior.

4. Stay calm and polite

It’s easy to get angry when someone insults you. You may even sink to their level. Try to maintain the high ground. If you stay calm, it will make you feel better. Do not raise your voice or insult the person. Also, do not use abusive language.

You should remove yourself from a situation if you are not confident in your ability to remain calm. You can say “Excuse Me, I’m going to need a short break” or “I will be back in just a few moments.” I have to use the restroom.”

This article about how you can be diplomatic and act with tact may be useful.

5. Kindness is the best way to diffuse disrespect

It’s not necessary to excuse rude people. However, it is easier to remain calm and handle the situation when you show kindness to them. Remember that the person may be upset and expressing it by being rude.

Try to give the benefit of doubt to the other person unless you have good reason to believe that they are being rude to you. Give them the benefit of doubt and show them kindness.

If your friend says something unusually rude, you could say “I am surprised that you said it.” You’re acting very strangely. Are you feeling OK?”

6. Don’t take your anger out on others

According to research, rudeness can be contagious. According to a 2016 Journal Of Applied Psychology article,we are able to “catch” rudeness by people who are rude towards us. ^[ 6]

The authors observed 90 students practicing negotiation exercises amongst their classmates. Students who said their first partner had been rude were more likely than others to label their second partner as rude. These findings suggest you can pass on rudeness to others when someone is rude towards you.

This is something you’ve likely experienced yourself. You might be in a bad temper if, for example, you are forced to deal with rude people on the morning subway commute. You may snap at coworkers more easily if you are already irritable.

Break the rudeness cycle when someone disrespects you. Say to yourself: “I won’t let someone else’s bad attitude affect me.” Instead, be a role model for others.

7. Humor is a great way to bring attention to disrespectful behavior

You can use humor to point out their disrespectful behavior if you are familiar with the person and know that they will take it.

Let’s say, for example, you are having lunch with a colleague named Sarah. Sarah is supposed to listen to you while you discuss a project that you are both working on. Instead, she keeps staring at her phone. You feel irritated because it’s obvious that she’s not paying attention.

You could send her a quick message, such as “Hey! I’ve arrived at the meeting!” instead of expressing your displeasure.

Use humor with caution. Making a joke when someone is angry or upset could worsen the situation. Be careful not to come across as passive aggressive . Use a lighter tone to avoid sounding sarcastic.

8. Consider whether confronting someone is worth it

It is sometimes the best thing to call someone out for their disrespectful behaviour. In some situations, however, it may be better to ignore the behavior in question and move on.

You can ask yourself these questions when deciding whether or not to confront someone who is disrespectful:

• Does this incident matter?

You can ask yourself “Will I care about this in a week?” If you get a “No”, it may not be worth confronting someone else. You don’t need to start an argument over a small issue.

• Does this person often treat me rudely, or is their behavior out of character?

All of us make mistakes, and we offend other people from time to time. Often without realizing it. It’s best to ignore occasional disrespect unless they have been rude or disrespectful. If the disrespectful behavior is a regular occurrence, it may be best to confront the person.

• Is the relationship that I have with this individual important to me?

If a stranger insults you, confronting them is probably not worth it. If a coworker is rude to you often, you should confront them because you will have to work and see them frequently.

• Is it safe to confront the person in question?

Be careful when confronting someone who may become angry or abusive. Do everything you can to keep yourself safe if you must confront someone about their abusive behavior. You could, for example, confront them in a room with other people or speak to them on the phone instead of in person.